Dog Farm Owner anticipates enthusiastic welcome from nation of animal lovers.
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: Elwood’s Organic Dog Meat - suppliers of high-quality, organic, free-range and sustainable dog meat to American consumers since 1981 - has finally come to the UK!
The launch, supported by a huge ad campaign on the London Underground, comes just in time for peak barbecue season, with a wide range of products, from labrador steaks to pug bacon. Distribution deals are being struck with major food retailers, and most lines will be available nationwide. If you haven’t tried delicious dog meat, there’s never been a better time to dig in!
All the dog meat is humanely harvested, and high-welfare, with the dogs enjoying free roaming on grass pasture. Elwood’s Organic Dog believes that happy dogs make happy meat, and nothing is more important to them than the dogs enjoying the best life possible, all the way up until slaughter.
'No one loves their dogs more than us.' - Elwood's Organic Dog Meat
But will the British public take to gourmet dog meat? Farm founder Elwood describes it as a sure thing:
‘We’ve seen so much success in the U.S. that it makes complete sense to expand. British farms conform to some of the highest welfare standards in the world—and you British folks expect quality, humanely raised meat animals. So this is a natural fit for Elwood’s.’
As for any potential backlash, Elwood doesn’t see any need for concern.
‘No one loves their dogs more than us—and sure, some folks imply that because we harvest dogs by the hundreds that we're made of stone. Fact is, we probably care more about our dogs than anyone on your island. We’ll adhere to your Red Tractor standards and whatever else you ask of us. And,’ added Elwood, ‘as a reminder, these dogs aren’t pets, they’re livestock. They have just one bad day.’
To celebrate, there’ll be a dog meat tasting stand near Borough Market (tbc), with special deals across the range. And the London Underground campaign, with 2200 imprints, will be hard to miss across the network. And just a quick reminder - just like any other meat, dog meat is legal to eat in the UK! So dive in!
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How unfortunate to have to include the disclaimer :(